Evers Limits Bar, Restaurant Capacity Until Three Days After Election Day

In what might be the most transparently political move of his tenure in office, Governor Evers has signed an emergency order limiting capacity to 25% in all of Wisconsin's restaurants, bars, and stores until November 6th...three days after the presidential election.

Wisconsinites will not be permitted to gather in large groups until Joe Biden is safely elected as President of the United States, it seems.

"Public gatherings are limited to no more than 25% of the total occupancy limits for the room or building, as established by the local municipality," the order states. "For indoor spaces without an occupancy limit for the room or building that is established by the local municipality, such as a private residence, public gatherings are limited to no more than 10 people."

Naturally, social justice rallies will not be subject to the restrictions, since Evers' order makes an exception for "political rallies, demonstrations, and other speech protected by the First Amendment."

The message is clear: Wisconsin, you may return to your precious bars, restaurants, and stores when Governor Evers is sure that you have voted the right way.